Sunday 21 June 2015

Are you a "love beggar"?

Jiajia and I came up with this term called "love beggar"
when we came to realise that both of us fall into this same category - that
 we don't have a name for it yet.

The term was inspired by how we "begged"
 for love from those people whom we love.
Note: not love from anyone or everyone, but love from the person/people we love.

Why "beggar"?
Because we do [too much] for this
particular person/group of people just in
hope to fill up that "love gap" we are
craving for.

Some people say, love should not be measured
by how much we give and 
if we really love the person, it wouldn't matter if the person decides to give you back. 

But how true is it? For once? Or twice? A year? Or 8 years?

We can't go on in a one sided relationship forever.
Not just in terms of BGR, but also in a working family relationship
or friendships that we treasure.

So, are you / will you be a "love beggar"?

10 signs of being a "love beggar":

1. You feel empty (and tired) 

As a "love begger", you have been giving so much so that you have forgotten to love yourself.
That selfishness seems to have disappeared into thin air.
You just seem to be giving, and giving, hoping that one day he/she sees it
and return some of those love to you.

2. You (sometimes/ all the time) find yourself annoying. 

Yea, probably, "clingy" is a word, you think, that would perfectly describe you.
In fact, you're not being clingy but just desperate
for the same affection you have been giving.

3. You are constantly on an emotional roller coaster. 

The way he/she treats you on that particular day
 can bring you high up into the sky or down into the deep valley.

4. You crave for that person. 

(Especially while you're travelling/ having extra time)
 it's like you just can't keep him/her off your mind.
You're constantly thinking if they have a surprise for you just like how you surprised them the last time round.

5. If they are happy, you're happier

It's not a matter of about being happy when you see them happy,
 but a matter of you being so much happier than they were.
You smile from cheek to cheek the entire day thinking of that smile they had.
But, it is also when you start to think, "when will it be my turn, to be made happy by you?".

6. Drink, drank, drunk. 

There will be days where you can no longer
 take that cold shoulder you have been receiving
 and decides to numb yourself with anything you can find.

It may not necessarily be numbing through consumption of alcohol
 but other things like chilli, sweets, ice cream
And all you can name to keep your mind off that person.

7. You put down your ego (indefinitely)

You can go all down, to do *almost*
everything the person ask for.
Or doing things you hate doing
just because that person loves doing it.

8. You lose hope

Now, to the most painful side when begging for love.
You lose all hope that the person would love you back.
 You think that you are just giving and not receiving.
Some people around you questions your action and some people call you silly.
Yet, in your heart, you know that you are being silly but you just cannot help it but keep giving.
 Despite that lack of hope, you still chose to give.

9. Mixed up priorities

You prioritise him/her over yourself, and
 sometimes, think of a future where both of you can survive in.
You beg for situations that will bring the 2 of you closer and
you pray hard that he/she will prioritise you as well.

10. You swallow disappointments

By now, disappointments have become a norm for you.

So what do you think about being a "love beggar"? Are you one yourself?

I don't think of it as pathetic
 but I hope this post can help people around to spot and
 see if there are any "love beggars" around you.

Look into their eyes and recognise that they have done,
let them know how you REALLY think about them.
If you really really really feel that you can't show any love to them,
please let them know.

Don't keep them in suspense.

We are mostly people who feel pain over and over,
but we are not weak people.
We just want you to keep a look out and be more sensitive towards us.

Don't avoid us.

That's all.

"Don't dwell in sadness, live for something that is worth more." 


  1. I am not sure how to say it, but I understand this very well.. Probably because I was one of the love begger. But as time goes by, I learn that I can only receive more love if I *give* more more love. Giving is receiving, that's how they say it. So unthinkable, but it's so true. And also, love is not something to look for, but is something to grow inside us and to share.. Though deep inside me, it's hard to do it. But try to do it each day. You'll feel better! It's for real :D Jia you!

    1. Hello Konayachi-san, its nice to hear from you. I agree with it. Its difficult to keep giving but not receiving. Sometimes, until this point that I do not know if it is worthwhile anymore. Maybe... I'm not as strong as you. But... I will do my best! Thank you for your message, I really appreciate it. ( # ^ . ^ # )