Tuesday 1 May 2012

[Just random thoughts: Is [Money] a big problem in relationship with people?]

How many of us have quarreled over money problems with our friends/family/boyfriends?
Honestly, I think I quarreled countless times over money issues.
It may not be because of selfishness and stinginess over money but may be over borrowing money or at times we are just looming with bad mood over our own money issues and rant, or even, shout at them.

Money is really a big big big problem in our lives however, we cannot live without it.
Yes, money can't buy everything in the world but without money, we cannot survive.

Quarrel over money that starts from QUESTIONS :

Sometimes little questions out of concern may bring out a quarrel over money too.
Like, "are you spending your money wisely?" "how much did you spend today?" or even "have you paid your bills?"

Some of you who didnt quarrel due to these issues YET, haha, here's my explanation in my perspective.

"are you spending your money wisely?" / "how much did you spend today?" / "have you paid your bills?"

It really depends on my mood, if i am alright and there's no money problem at the moment, I would reply with a smile to that answer be it with a "yes!" or jokingly "nope, i have been wasting them on my face" or whatever.
If I am in a really bad mood/ okay mood or that I have piling-up-like mountain bills, I might just burst at these questions. I might be shouting like "you give me money to pay these stuffs? you dont so shut up"

Or at times I might get offended and start scolding or shouting saying things like "you pay la?! ask so much!", "you think earning money is easy?", "enough la enough la".

Friends : 

Sometimes towards our friends we will ask like "when are you free to return me my money?".
This is a VERY VERY sensitive question so if you don't know that person well enough, don't lend.
Seriously, don't lend, I don't borrow money to others so I don't expect to borrow from others too.

It's too much to handle, so when we order food or anything, I may ask my friends to pay me a "discounted" amount since I will be paying the full sum and they will just pay me according to what I collect.
I would just tell them, keep the 50 cents or whatever, I wont even remember ~

I feel that there's no point being all calculative over small amount of money, maybe it's just me but there will be times when your friends ask you to pay less too isn't it?

But but but but.... if I don't know the person well/ just know the person, I would be REALLLY calculative.
Maybe it's because I feel that I may give a wrong impression or whatever, aihya, it's just me~

Quarrel over money that starts from FOOD :

I mean, who dont, money problems are really stressful, you might not even know how to survive tmr when you only have $2 cash on hand and $0.15 in bank.
Some how in my case, when my aunt or dad isn't home, I may even need to pay for food for the elderly at home as well as little cousin. & it's not cheap.

Sometimes, the quarrel even starts over little things like, my aunt didnt buy food for me or even when she bought someone ate it when I have no money on hand already.
I would burst and start shouting because I am really grumpy when I am hungry and CASHLESS ):
At times like this I might even starve! WTS, I don't sound realistic but I really do.

Quarrel over money that starts from STUDIES/BILLS : 

When I have to pay for school fees and I totally have $0 left in my bank after I pay for them, I would start being grumpy for the whole month.
Honestly, I am living from hand to mouth with my current pay.
I don't really have enough to survive PLUS I need to study. It's really not easy to manage all these together.
Well, if you ask me where I got my lenses and cosmetics and whatever, it's all sponsored.

When I am facing all these and suddenly someone asks "Got study hard or not?"
I would BURST LIKE CRAZY! I mean, I know that this question is harmless but I would still burst.
*Okay, I totally sound like I got anger management problems.

I would say things like, "I pay so much for my studies you think I got study or not?" "you dont ask so much when you dont know my situation!" "can you just shut up, your question wont bring me anywhere!"

Hahahhahahaha. However, I would still apologise after a while~

Views on quarrels over Money issues in COUPLES : 

I have been seeing couples quarreling on twitter or facebook over these money issues and over SMALL things like "I've spent how much how much on you" and whatever.
I think that if you really want to quarrel over these issues, please do it behind your doors as it really shows badly on you all when you quarrel in open platforms. Don't think that by doing so you will be able to defame your partner or think that you will make him lose face because at the very end, both of you loses "face".
It's just like quarreling in public. Honestly, I don't do such things.
I am not someone who will quarrel over ANYTHING with my boyfriend in public!
Please, it's a disgrace to do so. You will portray yourself badly.

I'm not judging, I'm just reminding anyone reading this now to please don't quarrel in public.

Well, worst to the worst was when I was still in Secondary 3 I used to be so lame and keep changing relationship status to Single and In a relationship when I quarreled with my boyfriend. LOL.
I find it utterly lame that I did that as I felt so shameful about it now. *totally regretted
There was no point in doing so isn't it? It's just telling people, "hey I just quarreled with my bf" & "oh we just stopped quarreling". -______-
& Yes, we passed that stage long ago =/

The thing over money that I will quarrel with my boyfriend is really really the QUESTIONS issue!
We tend to ask too much on those and annoy each other and start "quarreling" though it will stop very soon.

Conculsion :

Well, yes, I think money really really leads to bad blood and people would easily quarrel over money in the points I have listed above. Money have always been a sensitive issue so.. it's hard to say anything now.
Still, please don't quarrel in public ok? ^^

Signing off,
Kiyomi > <

1 comment:

  1. So true.. especially the friend part... i hate to ask for their debt... grr... its like, when you have borrowed someone money and just kept quite about it. it sucks... money are a really big issue... really.. :) they can give us happiness and make us sad too...