I haven't realised my own changes till I was reading my post back then, before I removed them from my site.
& I was looking through the reviews I have done previously, I realised how hilarious my sentences was.
My sentences was almost un-readable, it's horrible/hideous.
My phrases were really broken and, that set me thinking what was I thinking/typing at that point of time?
For fun? For fame? For trying to be unique? For being different?
Are these really the case?
Or was my English really bad then?
Well, my English was definitely not that bad then but why was I potraying that on my blog?
I could confirm this point, as my results from my exam papers does show that I wouldn't write in that manner there.
Was I really being myself at that point of time? Or say did I really really spoke that way because it was 'me'?
I asked some of my closer friends what they felt about me back then, and they gave me a relatively surprising answer. Not all of them are giving me the same opinions, but on the average, they told me that I wasn't like myself then.
Since most of them who said I wasn't like myself then was friends that knew me since Secondary 1, I guess.. I really weren't bring myself.
Friends who knew me after I 'wasn't-being-myself', said that I've changed a little now.
My overall conclusion is, I wasn't being myself back then.
Now, the question is, why? Why did I even tried to 'not to be myself'?
Just as I'm typing this, memories struck me, flash backs of incidences came back to me, reminding me how foolish I were and how naive my mentality was.
Perhaps, that's the rebelious stage of my life?
Okay, and this lead me thinking if I've knocked out from that stage yet?
These series of questions and chains of thoughts keeps coming in. It made me had some really bad nights.
Is there really an answer to all these questions? Is there really a need to answer them?
I don't know.